I'm away from my family right now. I miss them. I'm quicker to anger and remember my past mistakes more easily. I feel confused and lost, not really sure which way to turn. My faith is shaken and my heart is heavy. I portray the incorrect self image through a false medium that on its own does not harm, but in the hands of the corrupt, creates corruption. How do I come back when I feel betrayed? How do I have faith?
Remembrance is fond, but confusing. I feel somehow connected to the past, I can feel something but can't quite remember. Remember what and why?
Who am I and where do I go from here? My, your, our, potential is unequivocal, or at least that is how I feel. What are we meant for and how do I know? No one will answer me, because every question just leads to more questions. Nothing is firm, I feel no more foundation.
One thing is for sure, I was different before. I'm not sure if that means better, because maybe we limit our potential through parameters. So maybe we must go through hell to get to heaven. Maybe, we just need to pick ourselves up, and understand our potential is nothing more then the conflict inside. How can I not be what I want, when what I want, is what we should all aspire to be? Are my intentions pure? I truly, honestly, don't know but would love to find out. How do I find out? But maybe more importantly, if they are not pure, how could I ever change?
The foundation of our being relies upon the conflict of faith. Faith sustains us, and mine is wavering. God help me. Help all of us help ourselves, in your infinite wisdom, teach me. I will listen, but I fear I have not the ears to hear. Thus my confusion, thus my lost direction, thus my conflict.
